Make New Year Resolutions you can keep at Confused To Confident

Keep Your New Year Resolutions

Welcome to Confused To Confident Where We Can Keep Our New Year Resolutions

Hello all you wonderful women. It’s the start of a new year. Many of us use the beginning of the calendar year to start on self-improvement projects. These are best known as “New Year Resolutions”. The problem is, most of us don’t follow through with these resolutions. This week I’m going to explain why our new year resolutions usually dissolve before the end of January and how you can create resolutions that last.


Resolutions Improve Our Lives, Right?

Most of us have a desire to improve our lives. The fact that over ten billion dollars are spent every year on self-improvement materials shows the desire is there. The problem comes with follow through. Actually taking the action needed to make the change seems to be the sticking point. I see it even on this website. Confused To Confident is here to help you change your life. I have activities every week that will help you make those changes. Even though many of you read the posts, how many of the activities do you actually do?

An Improvement Or Punishment

This is the time of year we tend to get on ourselves about needing to DO things to improve our lives so please don’t sit there thinking you resolve to do all the activities on Confused To Confident from now on. Those kinds of thoughts are actually what cause us to fail in following through on new year resolutions. Our intentions are good but we go at them almost like it’s a punishment we need to force on ourselves.

Take for instance one of the biggest resolutions made every year, to lose weight. We resolve to exercise more and eat less, but think about how that sounds. If I loved exercising more, I would already be doing it. If I wanted to eat less, I already would be. One of the key focuses for Confused To Confident is to get you to have a more fulfilling, joyful, life. I, for one, don’t think doing things I don’t want to is very joyful. So, what do we do? How can we improve our lives and enjoy the process of improvement?

The Core Of The Issue

Let’s continue with the weight loss example. So you want to lose weight. First ask yourself why. Do you want to fit into clothes you can’t anymore? Did your doctor say you need to lose weight for your health? Do you want to feel better about yourself? There are many reasons for losing weight, so just saying you want to lose weight doesn’t get to the core of the issue.

Getting to the core of the issue is the first key to why we fail at keeping our resolutions. Making our resolutions too general causes failure. As you can see in the example above, each different reason for wanting to lose weight has a different core motivator. You may not want to spend money on new clothes. You may be afraid because of your doctor’s diagnosis. You may have general self-esteem issues. Each of these needs to be addressed differently than just “losing weight”

The activity for this week is to alter one of your new year resolutions so it's something you'll stick with because it’s enjoyable.

If you want to know my New Year Resolution for 2018 check below the activity.​

Activity - Keep Your Resolutions

Step 1

State your general resolution (You've probably already done this since we're already a week into the new year)

Example 1:

I want to lose weight so I’m going to exercise more and eat less.

Example 2:

I want to lose weight so I’m going to exercise more and eat less.

Step 2

Narrow down the specific desired outcome you want from this resolution. (Dig deep and be honest)

Example 1:

I want to be more attractive to men so I can find a partner.

Example 2:

I want to live longer, in good health, so I am alive for my children.

Step 3

Decide if there’s a different way you can better achieve your specific desired outcome

Example 1:

To find a partner who loves me just the way I am, I can be more self-confident and get out of my house and meet people

Example 2:

I can spend more quality time with my children now

Step 4

Come up with one FUN way you can best accomplish your specific desired outcome and state how this action will help and how it is fun.

Example 1:

I’m stopping for a drink after work at a classy lounge one day a week. This will help me come in contact with more people thereby increasing my chances of meeting a great partner. It's fun taking some time for myself every week.

Example 2:

I’m finding a new community class that I can take with each of my children every session. The classes help me become more active, thereby improving my health, and it's fun spending special time with my children.

You can see how the resolutions in both examples changed drastically. The new resolutions are very specific in getting the results wanted but more important, they're stated in a way that will bring joy to your life while accomplishing your goal. What resolutions do you think would be easier to stick to? Depriving yourself of food and forcing yourself to do exercises you hate, or going out for a drink and having fun with your children?

Notice too that the resolutions are stated in the positive, present tense. For more information on setting goals in the most productive format see this blog post on​ Getting What You Want In Life.

My New Year Resolution For 2018

The Statement

I have my bench cleaned off every morning before I leave my bedroom.

My Reasoning

I live by myself and tend to just leave stuff out when I'm finished for the day, especially if I need to come back to it later. I decided to start respecting myself more this year and, as a part of that, I wamt a clean space to live in. On the flip side of that, I feel like it's a waste of time to keep taking things out and putting them back.

About mid-year, yes you can make resolutions anytime during the year, I decided to make my bed every morning. I kept hearing how making your bed can make you feel better about yourself. Again, my first thoughts were, "But I just have to unmake it again every night, it seems like a waste of time." I wanted to do something to make an improvement however, so I tried it. Funny thing is, I found a way to make it very fast and it really does make me feel better walking in my room and seeing the bed made.

So what does this have to do with cleaning off my bench? The bench is in my bedroom and, now that the bed is always made, the bench being full of stuff is the only thing that makes my bedroom look messy. I figure if the bench is always cleared off, there's one room I can walk into and know it will always be completely cleaned up, with nothing laying around. I actually started this resolution the first of December and I'm absolutely loving walking into my bedroom now.

How My Life Improved

These two things were quick and easy yet they've made a huge impact on how I feel about myself and my home. The original resolution was that I was going to keep my house cleaner but I knew, from past experience, that it wouldn't happen because I hate cleaning. By breaking it down into small little parts, that are quick and easy for me to do, I'm able to accomplish my overall goal in time. 

Now that I've experienced how good it makes me feel to walk into a clean room, knowing that I am able to easily keep it clean, it will be much easier to expand the chores to other parts of the house, but I'm saving that for next year.

Let me know if you tried the "Keeping Your Resolutions" activity by commenting below.