There Are No Mistakes
Welcome to Confused To Confident Where There Are No Mistakes
Hello all you wonderful women. This is the first post on my blog, Confused to Confident. I'm excited to start this journey with you. Going from being confused to being confident, in all areas of your life, will bring you joy and fulfillment. If this is your first time here make sure you check out the information in the side bar, it helps explain how the site can best help you, then come back here to start your journey.
Let's get started on our topic for today, making mistakes. We have all done things that didn't turn out well or we wish we wouldn't have done. Typically, we call it "making a mistake." What if we started looking at those mistakes as learning opportunities instead.
No one likes making mistakes, especially when the outcome is life-changing. Sometimes, however, making mistakes can be the best path to living a better life. This only happens though if you take the time to learn from the mistake. You can't get discouraged or dragged down when things aren't going the way you planned. Confident people look at the facts of the situation and start on the task of turning what seems bad into something better.
You can check out my recent mistake, that may have saved my life, in the video after the activity.
Famous People Who Made Big Mistakes
Thomas Edison said, "Every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." You may have to go through many "wrong" ways of doing things before finding the way that works best. To help motivate you to work through your mistakes, let's look at a few people you may have heard of that have had to endure failure in order to finally succeed.
Thomas Edison was already mentioned. He made mistake after mistake in trying to create a light bulb. I, for one, am very glad he didn't give up or we would be sitting in the dark. Walt Disney is another well-known person who struggled through many setbacks. His mistakes cost him the rights to his first cartoon character, lost him his job, and caused him to go bankrupt. He used the information he got from those mistakes to create an entity that millions around the world go to for entertainment. More recently are the struggles of Steve Jobs, with Apple, and Richard Branson, with Virgin. If you don't know of their mistakes, just Google their name with the word "setbacks."
This list could go on and on but the key here is that, in many cases, making mistakes is a vital aspect of moving forward. It's necessary to learn from your mistakes and head in a better direction with the next attempt.
This week's activity will help you change how you think about the things that don't go as planned.
Activity - No Mistakes
Pick one thing you have done that you felt was a mistake or that wish you had done differently. Then rate how intense the negativity feels to you right now. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being, “It’s not that big a deal.” to 10 being, “I’m so upset about this I can barely function.”
I broke my toe going out the door to get the mail without shoes on. Rated an 8 because it hurt bad.
Think about why you did what you did. What good had you hoped would come from the action or decision?
I would save time not going to get shoes and put them on, only to have to take them off when I got back in again.
Now comes the hard part. You need to separate the facts from the emotion and pain the action caused. Write out the facts of the incident. It helps to write them so you can easily cross off any "feeling" words that may creep in.
I was walking fast out the door. I didn’t lift my foot up high enough over the threshold so my toe caught. I had no shoes on. I was going fast enough that the force broke my toe.
Looking at the facts, ask yourself, "What good can I get from this experience?" What positive information can you learn from it?
Slow down when walking barefoot. or Take time to put on shoes when going outside
Re-rate the feelings you have associated with the situation now that you broke it down to learn from it.
I rate mine a 2. It still hurts, but now that I focused on what I can learn from it, it is unlikely that I will let it happen again.
That’s all there is to it. Your emotional rating should have gone down. Finding a positive in something helps to take away from the negative. If it hasn’t gone down much, you may want to go back and look for other positives, or things you can learn from it. You may want to write them down to make them more powerful, and so you don’t forget in the future. The key is to use your new knowledge in the future, to make your life more fulfilling, and to prevent the same mistake from happening again. If you want to know how my recent mistake saved my life you can read it, or watch the video, below.
The Mistake That Saved My Life
My daughter was having a bad day all around (you can read about her ordeal, and the need for appreciation, in a future blog). It was late in the day and she was picking me up from the airport. At our airport it’s easier to park and come in to find someone than try to connect at the curb. On this day, I already had my bags by the time she got parked but, in the few minutes her car sat there, it wouldn’t start. The battery was dead.
Amazingly enough, there was a service vehicle just pulling up behind the car next to us. Apparently they needed help to change a flat tire. I asked if he could jump our car when he was done with them. He happily got the car started just a few minutes later and, when I asked what we owed, he said it was a free service.
I felt I should give him a tip but all I had was a ten-dollar bill and my daughter had nothing. Rationalizing that ten dollars was too much for a tip, I didn't give him anything but, after we left, I kept feeling I should have tipped him. That thought kept eating at me for a few days until I decided to run it through the mistake process.
What I Learned from the Mistake
My desire was to not spend ten dollars. What I learned was, I need to follow through when I get a feeling I should do something, even if I can find reasons not to do it. After processing the learning experience, I was able to let it go. Here comes the interesting part however.
Interesting Part of My Mistake Story
A couple of days later I got the desire to take a relaxing bath. I had just put the ingredients for coconut bread into the bread maker but knew that it ran automatically so I wouldn’t need to worry about it. Lighting a candle I slid down into the warm, soothing water. After relaxing a bit I decided to do some sense recognition. I paid attention to everything I could see, then everything I could feel, everything I could hear, and everything I could smell.
When I got to what I could smell, I sensed the smell of fresh baked bread. (Try saying those three words three times fast). Anyway, when I sniffed I could only smell the candle but, when I thought about what I could smell, the bread smell was there. I felt that something was wrong with the bread and I should get out and check on it. Then I started rationalizing. I didn’t smell anything burning, I was REALLY comfortable and relaxed and I had been saving this bath bomb for years, waiting for just the right time to enjoy a bath. Put those together and I didn't want to move.
Then I remembered the lesson I had learned from the tow truck driver – I need to follow through when I get a feeling to do something – so I dragged myself reluctantly out of the tub. When I opened the bathroom door, there was smoke everywhere. I ran to the bread maker and unplugged it. For some reason the dry ingredients flung over the side of the container, onto the heating elements, and were starting to burn. There is no doubt that the entire contents would have burst into flame had I not caught it when I did.
Fatal Part of My Mistake Story
Let me clarify three things here. The first is, all the smoke alarms in my house are taken down during this time; they expired and I was waiting for new ones to arrive. Second, the way my house is set up, the fire would have blocked me from escaping to an exit before I would have known there was a fire. Third, there is no window in the bathroom. It's very likely that my life was at risk had I not checked on the bread. I would have definitely talked myself out of getting up had I not learned to listen to my instincts. Making the mistake of not listening to my instincts, in not paying the tow truck driver, saved my life. I'm glad this concept really works and, by using it, I will be around to write next week's blog post. Hope you come back and check it out.