Map of Life blog post at Confused to Confident

Directions To A Great Life

Welcome to Confused To Confident Where You Can Have Any Life You Desire

Hi all you wonderful women. This week we’re going to look at having the best life you can imagine by learning how to get from where you are, to where you want to be. If you did the activity in the last post you have a better understanding of who you are and how it may differ from who you’d like to be. If you didn’t do last week’s activity, can I suggest that you do. You can find it here. It was great for evaluating your life to figure out who you are.

What do you do when you have to go somewhere you’ve never been before? Several years ago, you would take out a map and draw out the best route, or ask for specific directions from the person at the place you were going. Today most of us take out our phones and type in where we want to go and it tells us every turn we need to make to get there. There isn’t anyone who would just get in their car and start driving with no clue as to what direction to go. It sounds crazy to even think about doing that. There’s no way you would ever get to where you needed to be. So why do most of us do this very thing when it comes to living our life? We may have a list of what we want to get done each day, some may even have yearly goals, but how does it all fit into the big picture of who you are and what you want from life? You must have a plan, a map of your life.


There's No App For Your Life

Maybe someday there’ll be an app on our phones that gives step by step directions on exactly what to do next in our life, an individualized route for each of us to live our life to its fullest, but for now we have to create those directions ourselves. Don’t drive another day down the road of your life without a map. For this week’s activity I’m giving you the outline for your map, you just need to fill it in and follow it.

The Law Of Attraction?

I am going to say here that this is basically a step by step guide to the law of attraction. If you think that stuff is all a bunch of garbage, just finish reading and see if you might be open to a different perspective.

I have to agree that just wanting something is probably not going to make it appear, if it did everyone would have everything they ever wanted. That definitely is not the way it works. What will work though, is if you truly believe you will have something, or will be able to do something, you will. You have to feel so sure that there’s no room for even the tiniest bit of doubt. You’re probably thinking, “Sure but I don’t believe that, so what now?” This week’s activity will show you how to make that happen. Again, if you’re skeptical, just read it. You may want to read my current personal example at the end too.

Activity - Get What You Want In Life

To start this week’s activity pick ONE thing you want different in your life. I realize you may want many things but you must focus on one thing at a time. Those of you who did last week’s activity could start on a personality trait you want to change.

After picking one thing you want to change in your life it needs to be written down in a specific way. It’s important that you’re very specific on what you want and when you want it. It’s also important to put it in a positive, present tense. The statement needs to be written in a way that you know when you have reached your outcome. Here are a couple of examples to explain what I mean.

Poor Example 1:

“I want a better personality”

This is unspecific, has no time, is not in the present, and there is no way to know when it is accomplished

Good Example 1:

“By December, I speak in such a soft-spoken voice that sometimes my friends can’t hear what I am saying.”

This is specific (speak in soft-spoken voice), has a time frame (by October), is in the present, like you already do it (I speak), and you know it has been accomplished if friends are asking you to repeat yourself.

Poor Example 2:

“I want to be rich”

Again, this is unspecific, has no time, is not in the present, and there is no way to know when it is accomplished.

Good Example 2:

“I have one million dollars to spend as I want by December 2018.”

It is specific (one million dollars to spend as wanted), has a time (by December 2018), is stated in the present (I have), and it will be easy to know if you have it.

Step 1

Write down one thing you want, making sure:

- It is very specific

- It is stated in the present tense

- It has a time frame

NOTE: If you are far from believing that you can have this thing you want, give yourself a little more time to get there because you will have a few more steps to take, but don’t put it so far out that it won’t even matter anymore. After all you want that fulfilling life sooner not later.

- You will know when you have accomplished it.

Example 1:

“By December, I speak in such a soft-spoken voice that sometimes my friends can’t hear what I am saying.”

Example 2:

“I have one million dollars to spend as I want by December 2018.”

Step 2

Write down what you believe now about this accomplishment. 

This should be fairly easy since you live with this belief every day, most likely even commenting on it. If it's a personality trait you are trying to change, you may even make jokes about yourself to cover it up. Be honest and open with this assessment. No one will need to see it except you.

Using the examples from above here’s how that may look.

Example 1:

"I have a very loud voice that sometimes offends people when I am talking to them."

Example 2:

“I'll never have a million dollars."

Step 3

This one may take some thought but is the key to this process. You need to come up with a statement that is closer to what you want than you are at now but is still believable to you. 

You’ll need to find a statement that you can believe fully even though it may be a stretch at the time. Remember believing in what you are saying, with a deep feeling behind it, is what’s going to bring results.

Using our examples again, here are some possible statements.

Example 1:

“I whisper when telling a secret.”

“I talk quietly when I’m on the phone.”

“I sometimes make my voice quiet when I talk.”

Example 2:

“If I add up every dollar I have earned in my life, I've had one million dollars.”

“I’ve never been starving on the street so I know I will always have enough; my ‘enough’ is now getting bigger.”

“I have some money I can spend any way I want to.” (You can say this even if it’s only $1.00)

Step 4

Take some time, at least twice a day, and say this new statement. Put feeling into it and really sense it as being completely true until IT is your new belief instead of your original one. Every time you catch yourself thinking or saying your original belief, replace it with the new statement.

Step 5

As you are saying your new statement, give thanks or thoughts of appreciation for it. The more you appreciate what you have, the more you will have to appreciate.

Example 1:

“I’m glad I can sometimes make my voice quite when I talk.”

Example 2:

“I’m so lucky I have some money I can spend any way I want to.”

Step 6

Once you completely believe your new statement, without a doubt at all, and you never revert to your original belief, go back to Step 3 and come up with another statement that is even closer to your ideal.

You'll continue to repeat this process until you're believing you will have what you want. This may take you only one or two rounds or may take many small steps. Each round may be as short as a day or as long as a month. Just stick with it, repeating, with feeling, the newest statement every day, and you will get there

Here's how that may look when you have gotten one step away from your ideal.

Example 1:

“I can talk quieter.”

(Unless you are physically incapable, this is a true statement)

Example 2:

“I like having a million dollars.”

(You would if you had it so this is a true statement

Remember these key items:

* All your statements (except your current belief) must be:


Stated in Present Tense

* Your final statement must be:


Stated in present tense

Have a  time frame

Be stated so you know if it has been achieved

* The newest statement must be a step closer to your desire than the prior one.

* You must say the newest statement at least twice daily, feeling the truth of it, until it replaces the prior belief.

Congratulations on completing the first route on your map to a better life. This exercise can be done with anything you desire but it’s best to only be working on one thing at a time. If you want to see how I put this into action you can read one of my latest personal desires, and see its progress, below.

Getting What I Want

All My Life I've Wanted A Lamborghini

I have always wanted a Lamborghini. Before I even started driving I fell in love with those doors that go up instead of out. A couple of years ago I decided to put having a Lamborghini on my list of things I was going to have and I wrote this down. “I am driving a red, convertible, Lamborghini, Aventador Roadster in five years.”

My original belief was that I would never be able to afford a nice car like that. Of course all my friends and family reinforced that statement whenever I told them that was the car I wanted.

My next statement was fairly easy. My statement was “I can buy a brand new red car.” That seemed reasonable since I had once bought a brand new truck.

My New Car

Amazingly enough, it wasn’t but a few weeks later when I went out of town and ended up in a red convertible Camaro rental car. The joy I got out of driving that car was indescribable. I have a saying on my mirror, “What makes you happy? Then do it.” It made me very happy driving that car so when I got home I looked for one to buy.

Let me explain something here. At the time I had no job and very little in savings but I had a burning desire to be driving that Camaro. I’m not going to go into all the details, if you want you can request them from me below, but I will say I had that car in my driveway within a month.

My Next Statement

My next statement was another easy one and it only took me a couple of days to fully feel its truth. “I drive a cool red hotrod convertible.”

I absolutely love driving my car and I thank God for it quite often (you can thank whoever or whatever you want just so you show appreciation for what you have). I get quite a few compliments on it and people wave and smile at stoplights. The wind blowing in my hair makes me feel alive and free. I know these great feelings will be even more intense when I am driving my Aventador.

My statement now is “I'm driving my red, convertible, Lamborghini, Aventador Roadster in five years.” and I fully believe I am. I will post pictures when I get it.

Let me know if you tried the "Get What You Want In Life" activity by commenting below.