Hello all you wonderful women. I had a request for information on romantic relationships so that will be our topic for today.

There are several aspects of being a woman today that make it more difficult to have a meaningful, close, romantic relationship. The biggest stems from the women’s movement. A lot of great things have come from the growth in women’s power. We are able to vote and work in any industry, our pay scale has increased, and we don’t have to depend on men to survive. For all the good that has come from women gaining more rights though, there's still a big negative. It has blurred our identity, as well as men’s. This identity confusion has hurt our romantic relationships.

A Woman's Need To Be Masculine & Feminine

As so many women are working to support themselves or help support their families, we are taking on masculine traits and giving up our power as a woman. Being feminine is a strong power that many of us women have forgotten how to use. We are so afraid of being “objectified” or “harassed” that we scorn and suppress our femininity. We may even shun other women who are being feminine. If we want to have a strong, romantic, relationship with a man, we need to act more like a woman.

Now don’t click away thinking I’m saying we need to go back to the archaic days, or let men walk all over us, I would never advocate that thinking. I’m also not suggesting that you give up your career or strength in the workplace. All I’m saying is, when you are with your man, or a man you would like to be yours, be a woman.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I lost several wonderful romantic relationships because I didn’t understand that I continued to function in my masculine role, which I needed at work, even when I was with my partner. (You can hear about my eye-opening learning experience in the video or text below.)

I want to help you see, that as women today, we need to be able to switch back and forth between our masculine traits, which help us in the workplace, and our feminine traits, which are essential for a romantic relationship. This can be a burden sometimes but it's so worth it.

Switching back and forth does become easier the more you practice. I'll give you some concrete steps in today’s exercise that you can do to start on your way to developing your feminine side. 

Every man and woman has some of both masculine and feminine traits that can be stronger or weaker at various time. If men are using more of their feminine traits most often, they are often deemed weak or gay, which may or may not be the case. Women, however, have more flexibility. We need the more masculine traits to survive in the workplace, yet, to be in a strong romantic relationship, we need to be fully in our feminine state. 

How Do You Know Which Trait You're In?

If you have ever felt that your relationships with men tend to feel more like friends or business partners than spark-flying romance, there's a good chance you were using your masculine traits.

Quick Example

Here’s a quick example of how I realized I was normally in my masculine state. Maybe your reaction will help you identify if you are acting in yours.

I was sitting in the airport waiting to pick up a friend. A husband and wife were sitting a few seats down from me waiting for the wife’s sister to arrive. When the sister got there, the husband took her carry-on bag and the two sisters hugged and took off chatting together. My first thought was, I would have not let go of my suitcase. Then I thought about needing to be more feminine. I needed to learn to give up my suitcase!

Just that simple act of giving up her suitcase to the man, showed that this woman was acting in her femininity. In that act, she not only became more attractive to the men who may have seen her, she made her sister’s husband feel more like a man. He was able to be helpful, and take care of something for her, which is what men were made for.

Understanding Men Today

If you have a man at home and are thinking, yeah, right, I can’t even get my man to pick up his socks off the floor, you will especially benefit from today’s exercise. Many men have been taught, unfortunately by us women, to be less like a man. This is the flip side of us not understanding our femininity, however, you can turn that around. The more feminine you behave, the more you will let the men around you know it's okay for them to be masculine.

Men need to be able to do things for you. Heaven knows they don’t understand all our emotions and “sharing”; they know how to “do”. When we take care of everything we are teaching our men that we don’t need them. Even if we don’t need them, it feels good to be needed so, we need to let them feel like we need them.

Let them do the things for you men used to always do for women. Gush over the fact that he opens the door for you, and give him a big smile if he helps you on with your coat. Of course you can do these things for yourself, we are strong, capable, women, but in that strength we need to let our men do for us.

Look at the power we have as women, we get to choose to let our men be men. Men have had such a hard time with the “new woman” because they don’t know what their own manly role is anymore.

Let me tell you though, even if they have never opened your door, helped you on with your jacket, or paid for your meal, if you “let” them start doing these things (you may have to coax them to get started) they will feel manlier and treat you more like a woman without even realizing it. The stronger those two opposites are, masculine and feminine, the better your romantic relationship will be.

When it comes to masculinity and femininity it is true, opposites do attract.